Entering the Age of Discomfort and Embracing Chaos with a Smile
To those who are new around here, I am Roshni, mum of three and Founder of Little IA. This is the first of a series of newsletters that I’ll be committing to on a monthly basis to talk about navigating "Adulting". My musings, my takeaways and my pain points. I have revelled in the community we've been able to cultivate these past two years and figured this would be the perfect space to share joys and heartaches that all of us experience on this wild journey of motherhood and everything in between.
Starting with one of my biggest learnings and pain points. One of the hardest things for me in motherhood so far, has not been dealing with the actual responsibility of new human life, nor has it been tantrums, the terrible 2s, sleep training or the lack of it. Instead, it has been dealing with the loss of an old self, and that uncomfortable in-between all new-mum's go through as they step into a newer version of themselves. The change is inevitable. Motherhood swallows you up and spits out a new version. Even if you adapted to motherhood relatively unscathed, something deep inside is transformed and will never be the same as before. It is the loss and rebuilding that I have found the most grappling to deal with. Coming to grips with a new normal, whether it be a new normal of seeing your closest friends a handful of times a year, the added 5 kilos, or the constant feeling of overwhelm where you wonder if you will ever find peace again in life.
As I mull over the month that was, it irks me somewhat that I am still not settled into a proper routine. The summer holidays were a whirlwind of sunscreen and snack boxes (our travel ones of course), but now that the kids are back to school, I suddenly find myself on a a wild ride of attempting to find a routine amidst the chaos. And it's uncomfortable.
Once upon a time, we had carefully structured lives. We knew what meals we would cook, when we would exercise, and how we'd conquer that ever-growing to-do list. Then summer hit, our routines vanished, and now, we suddenly find ourselves sifting through the wreckage of our schedules, trying to remember where we left our sanity. Convincing our kids that it's school time again is akin to selling broccoli as a dessert. And then there's the Instagram effect. Thanks to this little app, we're now living in a world where sepia-toned perfection is the bar to reach. As much as Instagram adds value to my life through easy recipes and mum-hacks, the information overload plagues my existence. Between Pinterest hacks, parenting blogs, and Whatsapp groups, the sheer volume of 'STUFF' is mind-boggling. And I find myself wondering, more often than not, am I doing this right and could I be doing more?
But amidst the turmoil and occasional Instagram-envy, we find ourselves. Knee-deep in a new-age of discomfort, growth and life with kids. We stumble upon those rare moments when the chaos settles and everything just clicks. It's those minutes of unwavering love from our little ones, or that unexpected hug or the sheer bliss of silence that rejuvenates our existence. In those small glimpses of pure joy, I realise that I am exactly where we need to be and life is just as it should be.
So I guess this is a note to myself and to every person reading this, to embrace the uncontrollable craziness of life post-summer. Laugh at the absurdity of finding routine in a world that never seems to slows down, because to be honest, that's all you can do to stay sane. Show Instagram what true joy looks like—chocolate-covered grins, disheveled hair, and all. And when information overload threatens to consume you, remember that there are people in this world paying to sit on a stationary private jet for 5 minutes just to take a photo. There is so much more to an Instagram photo.
So, here's to a school year filled with laughter, love, and maybe just a few uninterrupted bathroom breaks. Here's to all fellow moms, as we conquer the post-summer chaos together with a smile!